Stunning Switzerland

ALL the views of Switzerland were like this.

My parents were a bit baffled when I mentioned how much I was looking forward to the scenery of Switzerland.

“But Em,” they said. “If we said we were going for a scenic drive, you wouldn’t want to come. You get bored with lookouts and views.”

These are kind of true, but that’s because we never go for a scenic drive through Switzerland. It is devastatingly beautiful with dazzling rich colours that pop out of the landscapes: vivid greens, crystal blue lakes and rivers, blinding white snowcaps on the mountains and exposed rock, warm dark browns of the wooden houses, and an entire Crayola spectrum is visible in some towns with boldly painted apartment buildings lining the streets. It’s a visual feast.

We pulled into Lucerne and almost immediately jumped aboard a cable car to be taken to the top of Mount Pilatus. It cost a small fortune but we’d been promised breathtaking views of the entire city of Lucerne. The whole city, they said. Spectacular, they said. You can’t miss it, they said.

At the top of Mount Pilatus we were treated to spectacular, amazing, breathtaking views of solid fog.

White cloud everywhere you looked. Lost at the top of the clouds. Lucerne was completely obscured by the cloud, and I was sad. It was visible from the cable cars though once they dipped below the cloud, but I wonder if it was worth the admission price.

Our hotel that night was the Lowengraben Jail Hotel, a former prison that has been converted into a hotel, but still gives visitors a touch of the prison experience. Ever since reading atrocious reviews about the place online, I had not been looking forward to staying here at all. They said it was creepy, claustrophobic, and unclean. Hardly the marks of a pleasant hotel experience.

The rooms were pretty uninspiring and were located across the road from a bar, and since it was a Friday night AND the soccer was on, that bar was full of noisy people whose voices carried easily through the windows of the hotel. We’d been given the option of going on a pub crawl through Lucerne that night, and I jumped at the chance to spend as little time as possible in my tiny, creepy, cramped jail cell.

Before the pub crawl was a cruise on Lake Lucerne, where we were treated once again to the stunning Switzerland scenery. No one quite knew where to point their camera lens next as we were treated to rich landscapes drenched in the light of the setting sun. It was windy and the boat operators had eclectic music tastes, but the visuals definitely made up for everything.

I’m sure everyone else on my tour was surprised to see me signed up for the pub crawl. So far, I’d only been seen drinking soft drinks by most, since I don’t drink beer or wine, and spirits are never offered as included drinks. But I downed free shots with everyone else as we headed through three pubs and clubs in Lucerne.

It was an absolutely crazy night, and a lot of fun. Drinks were predictably very, very, VERY expensive, and I only bought one (14.50 Swiss francs for a pineapple Malibu, but the enormous glass they served me was about the equivalent of two drinks back home). The last club was insane: packed with people and had epilepsy-inducing strobe lighting that made everyone appear to move in slow motion. It was the most tiring night of the tour, but also one of the most fun as I got to spend time talking, drinking and dancing with all the new people I’d met.

I only wish I’d got to see more and spend more time in Switzerland. One afternoon and night was not enough.